


you look like yourself (but you're somebody else)

by scavengerswan



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Canon Universe, F/M, Post-Canon, Post-TLJ, Rey Needs A Hug, Sirens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 07:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20327356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scavengerswan/pseuds/scavengerswan
Summary: Kylo Ren goes on a mission to Endor determined to get Rey out of his mind, but he comes across a powerful Siren with the ability to morph into the object of a person's desire. Will he be able to resist?





	you look like yourself (but you're somebody else)

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by a scene that takes place in episode 1x13 from the show Once Upon a Time.
> 
> Huge thank you to the sweet @StarHorseSolo (on Twitter) for beta-ing this for me!

_"Join me. Please."_

_There is a hint of a shy smile on Rey's face as she takes his outstretched hand, tiny sparks tingling in his abdomen the second her bare skin touches his gloved hand. His lips quiver, about to erupt in a smile when –_

Kylo shoots up from his leather chair, a thin page of the book he'd been reading stuck to his cheek. He pinches his lips, the warmth of her touch still lingering on his fingertips.

She was haunting him.

It had been months since they had last seen each other after the battle of Crait, but she insisted on invading his dreams, the promise of what could have been taunting him in his sleep.

At first he'd been consumed by rejection, her betrayal burning through him like an open wound. Rey had been a miscalculation on his part, he could see that now. She was no different than those who had chosen a cause over him, so why would she have accepted his offer? And even if she had gone with him, he would have found a way to destroy everything. Because that's what he did. He was far too cursed, far too gone to the darkness to ever be the person Rey wanted him to be. His parents' lack of faith in him had proven it and his uncle's attempt at murdering him had confirmed the uselessness of fighting against his destiny. Rey had been wrong: it _was_ too late for him.

He knew what he had to do. He knew that he could never change. He'd lose far too much after dedicating most of his life to the darkness, to the one thing that had made him feel part of something. It was pointless to stop now. He had to keep doing what he'd always done, alone. He didn't need her.

But then why was his mind still conjuring scenarios where she took his hand and joined him? Or even worse, why would those dreams always make his heart flutter?

He slams the book down on the desk, determined to end this for once and for all. He will get her out of his mind even if it's the last thing he does.

"Supreme Leader, your ship is ready," General Hux barges through his office with that ever-condescending attitude of his. "Allow me to remind you that your excursion to Endor will increase the chances of the Rebels learning about our whereabouts."

"I don't remember asking for your opinion, General."

"You are letting your personal interests cloud your-"

"I am the Supreme Leader. I give the orders," Kylo's words are menacing and he's this close to force-choking Hux. "And you follow them."

When he finally lands on Endor, he's surprised to find so much green. It's everywhere: in trees, grasses, ferns and mosses that he barely remembers from his sporadic visits when he was young. His hand clenches into a fist at memories of _them_ and he redirects his attention to the trail ahead of him. He is on a mission, he has no time to think about his past.

He sees almost no ewoks as he walks through the forest, and the ones he crosses paths with either don't recognize him or are smart enough not to say or do a thing. He doesn't want to kill them, but he will if he has to. If there is one thing he learnt in all these years is that the ends justify the means, and he will do _anything_ to get his hands on what he is looking for.

It's after a while that he finds it. The sacred lake whose waters hide the one thing he'd been reading about for months, the one he won't leave Endor without. He takes a deep breath and lifts his chin before he starts moving toward the lake with careful but determined steps.

Kylo feels the cold water seeping through his boots, the sharp rocks beneath him as he pulls off his cape, not wanting it to slow him down in the fight that will inevitably happen any moment now. If what he read was anywhere near accurate, it would take just another step of his for her to make her presence known.

He moves his right foot forward, landing in a rock rounder than usual. He feels something is about to happen and his hand goes straight to his lightsaber. Just then the water becomes agitated, air bubbles ascending as a creature emerges right in front of him. Yes, it seems all that time spent on research had paid off. He was expecting this.

She has a human body, small and tender. Her blonde hair shines in the night, her eyes glowing as she peruses his body. The revealing white pearl dress she wears leaves little to the imagination, but he doesn't let his eyes wander. His interest lies somewhere else.

"Naiadak…" he whispers, knowing exactly what he is looking at. She is the Siren he'd read all about, one with the ability to morph into the object of a person's desire in order to seduce them. She was protecting _it_ from intruders like himself.

"I like your voice," the sultriness of her tone matches her suggestive gaze. "It's deep… dangerous…"

"I know what you are," he cuts her off, igniting his lightsaber. "I won't fall for it."

"Why such hostility?" she smiles in a rather innocent way as she starts making her way to him with a provocative sway to her hips. "Hasn't love brought you to me, to this lake?"

"I know nothing about love."

"Is that why you're looking for Logray's potion that heals broken hearts?"

His eye twitches as a shiver runs down his spine and all he can do is glare in her direction. How does she know _that_ is what he's here for? What else does she know about him?

"You want to forget about someone, to erase all your memories of this person who broke your heart…" she is now inches away from him. "An extreme cure to an extreme affliction... But why use a potion when I can give you what you want?"

She runs a hand over his arm, her touch cold and foreign despite her obvious attempt at seducing him. She moves around him like a serpent studying her prey.

"I can be anyone you want me to be," she says, her breath tickling his ear. "I can be _her_."

"I don't want her!"

And he doesn't.

He doesn't want Rey.

He's just sick of all the images and thoughts of her. They tear a hole in his heart and distract him from what truly matters: feeling whole again by bringing a new order to the Galaxy next to those who have allowed him to be himself. By drinking that potion, he will forget she even exists and then everything will be as it was before she came into his life.

It has nothing to do with wanting her, and he has no qualms about raising his voice to prove his point.

He doesn't understand why his loud shout puts a devilish grin on the Siren's face, but then she is taking two steps back and sprinkling drops of water all over herself. Her arms cover her face as the water falls on her and by the time she looks at him again, all air leaves him. He slowly parts his lips when he takes her in.

It's her.

Rey.

"You don't want me?" even her voice sounds the same and his stomach twitches as his eyes lock on hers. It couldn't be.

"Rey…" his words are barely a whisper as his eyes run down her body. Her brown hair is up in three buns, just as it had been when he'd first met her in Takodana. And her hazel eyes… They were still as beautiful as he remembered, sparkling with shades of green as they drink him in. And then… a smile. He had never seen her smile before, and something catches in his throat at the sight. She looks breathtaking and he suddenly can't stop himself from staring at her.

It has to be her. She's too perfect not to be her. 

Except that it's not her. It couldn't be. It's all part of the Siren's trap.

"It's…" it takes everything in him to tear his eyes from her, but he gathers the strength to do it, shaking his head ever so slightly. "It's not really you."

"Of course it's me," she closes the distance between them, bringing one hand to his cheek, but it feels cold. It has nothing to do with the warmth that had spread over his body when they'd touched hands. "It's only you and me…"

She's staring at his lips now, her hands tracing slow patterns on his chest, and his body can't help but react to it. It's so easy to pretend it's her…

"You don't need this," her lips are inches away from his, and he lets her take his lightsaber from his hand, dropping it in the lake. "Everything you want… I can give it to you."

"You're not-" her hands fall lower and his words die on his lips - he'd dreamt so many times with this moment. His heartbeat races out of control and he allows himself to close his eyes. Maybe he's wrong. Maybe it's actually Rey. Maybe she sensed him through their bond and decided to come to him. Maybe –

"Kiss me, _Ben_."

That's when he loses it. Hearing his name on her lips sends a jolt of heat straight to his core and he succumbs to the urge to have her. He crashes his mouth against her, hungry to finally taste her kiss. If he's being honest with himself, he's longed for this ever since he interrogated her. Sometimes, when sleep wouldn't come, he'd imagine what she would taste like. He had settled for a mix of vanilla and spice, her lips caressing his with a rough delicacy that was indistinctively Rey's. But this… This feels nothing like it. It feels cold. Impersonal. _Wrong_. It's nothing like how he imagined kissing Rey would be like.

Because he isn't kissing Rey.

She isn't her.

"No," the daunting realization has him pushing the Siren away from him, to the point he can see bitter anger swirling in her eyes for a fleeting second.

"I want you so much, Ben. Please…"

He wants to smash something when he feels her arms around his neck now, her pleading voice sounding _so real_ that he finds himself gulping.

"No," he tries to break free from her grasp. "You're not her."

"Yes, I am!" she's yelling now and her desperation betrays her. She isn't even sounding like Rey at all now.

"You're an illusion. I want reality."

"Doesn't this feel real?"

She kisses him again, but he pulls her away before she even has a chance to deepen the kiss.

"No, it doesn't," there is no doubt seeping through his voice. He had felt the power of his and Rey's connection, the heat of her touch. This wasn't it. He knew the difference.

His rejection puts a stop to her charade and her innocent smile turns into a vengeful grin.

"Congratulations, Kylo Ren. You're the first."

Before he knows it, she's leaping toward him, pushing him in the water and holding him down. He calls for his lightsaber, lost somewhere in the deepness of the lake, but it gets stuck in a large web of algae. He struggles to break free from her grasp and the effort makes him gulp down some water while trying to breathe.

His hand desperately reaches out for his saber again, but to no avail. He resorts to more thrashing, her grip on him so strong that he fails to bring enough air into his lungs. Blood pounds behind his eyes when the Siren pushes him further down and he feels a sharp pain in the back of his head as he hits a rock. Everything starts spinning around him and the last thing he sees in the distance before he blacks out is a familiar light blue reflection of a lightsaber.

Rey has no idea where she is nor how she got there. All she knows is she sensed through the Force that Ben was in danger and she didn't hesitate in opening the bond she'd closed after Crait. After that, she had found herself surrounded by water and looking at Ben being drowned by… another Ben?

Panic and adrenaline rush through her after realizing there is two of them, but her instincts tell her that the real Ben is the one she had sensed through the Force, the one in danger. Trusting the Force, she stabs her lightsaber into fake Ben's heart without a second thought, pouring all her rage into it. A loud, unhuman groan escapes the impostor's lips, twisting and turning until it slowly stops moving, breaking its hold on Ben.

A Siren, Rey realizes once death has the creature morphing back to its real appearance. Why it had morphed into another version of Ben to fight Ben himself Rey didn't know, but that is the last thing on her mind. Ben is unconscious, she needs to save him. She quickly gets to the surface for air and then dives back in. She pulls him to the lakeshore as fast as she can, taking everything in her to drag his heavy body out of the water.

Rey's ragged breathing fills the air as she lays him down on the stone-covered lakeside. A surge of relief washes over her when he exhales a puff of warm air. He's breathing. He'll be alright. She doesn't want to think about _why_ she is relieved, focusing on his passed-out body instead. He looks so peaceful and calm that for a minute she forgets she's staring at the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

His hair is longer and she doesn’t resist the urge to push some wet strands away from his forehead. She can feel the pulse of her heart in her chest, but she ignores that too. Her curiosity gets the best of her and she wonders what he's doing in Endor and how he'd ended up fighting a Siren. Her eyes travel down to his waist – for no reason whatsoever – and she notices that his lightsaber is missing. She uses the Force to call for it, surprising even herself when it travels from the water to her hand without hesitation. Ben must've lost it during the fight.

The moment reminds her of that wretched time she'd woken up in the throne room after their clash over Luke's lightsaber. He'd been unconscious just like now and the thought of using his own blade to end it all did cross her mind, but Ben's life wasn't hers to take. She couldn't kill him then, she can't kill him now. She could _never_ kill him. With her damp clothes clinging to her body, she takes his right gloved hand in hers and drops his saber in his palm, closing his hand around it. He'll need it when he wakes up.

They would meet again, fight each other again, but for now she'd done what she must. Everything else… she would leave it to the will of the Force. Her eyes inspect him one last time before she's closing the bond between them once again. She doesn't want him to see her, doesn't want him to know that she saved him. Again, she doesn't know why. She just doesn't. And just like that, he disappears from her vision, nothing in sight but the familiar bed in her Resistance Base.

* * *

When Ben wakes up, his entire body hurts, but nothing compares to the sheer confusion that settles in him when he takes in his surroundings. He doesn't understand how he'd been close to drowning and now he's lying by the shoreline, his lightsaber in his hand. It's almost as if whatever had happened had been nothing but a dream.

But it couldn't be. The Siren was real and the way his muscles complain with every movement is all the proof he needs. He gets up reluctantly, a slight discomfort tugging at his chest that he promptly ignores once his eyes fall on the small potion vial floating in the water.

Is that-?

He drags his feet to the water, not caring about the heavy throb in his head. A wave of contentment bathes him when he pulls the vial from the water. Logran's potion. It's finally his. Now all he has to do is drink it.

He removes the cap off the vial with a trembling hand, bringing the glass to his lips. In seconds, Rey will be nothing but a stranger to him. He'll be able to get her off his mind, the promises of what could have been lingering no more in his mind, haunting him no more.

He'll forget about her beautiful eyes and hair.

He'll forget about her enticing strength and spirit.

He'll forget about her hope and compassion.

He'll forget about her reassuring and loving touch.

He'll forget about her promising whispers of help.

He'll forget about her faith in him and the way she cracked through his façade, reaching to the person who longed to be loved and acccepted.

He'll forget about _her_.

Isn't this what had brought him here in the first place? By now he should be bathing in a wave of satisfaction as he gulped the kriffing potion down, eager to get all traces of her away from him. Away from what truly matters. And yet, he isn't.

He clenches his jaw as memories flash before him, her voice as vivid as if she were right next to him.

_"It isn't too late."_

_"I can feel the conflict in you, it's tearing you apart."_

_"You'll turn. I'll help you."_

_"Don't do this, Ben. Please don't go this way."_

Was this what he truly wanted? To forget about her?

Tears well in his eyes and he pulls the vial away from his lips, emptying its content into the water. He couldn't do it, he was weak. He should've known. His promises of destroying her were nothing but spoiled fits of rage. He couldn't destroy her. He could _never_ destroy her, not even from his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thank you to the sweet @StarHorseSolo (on Twitter) for beta-ing this for me!
> 
> This is my first Reylo fic, so please be gentle!
> 
> You can find me on Twitter @scavengerswan.


End file.
